Animals I Hate

Canada geese push all my OCD buttons. People are always calling them Canadian geese and I just want to lecture them all night on why they’re wrong, but I know that I shouldn’t. When I was a kid the geese at the zoo used to attack me a lot. I only ever did totally normal child stuff, I was a super normal kid, just screaming real loud and running around and trying to hold the baby geese, so I have to assume that those birds are just nuts. They fly in those V formations because they want to go on a fancy winter vacation but they won’t want to do all the damn WORK, so they get a boost from the wake of the air current from the guy in front of them. If I were a goose I would just stay in Mexico or California or wherever. Why the hell should I fly all the way back to the damn Yukon every year? What’s in the Yukon? Is that even a real place?