Animals I Hate

Hagfish are the only animals that have skulls, but no spines. Just spinal cords freeballing* it down the middle of their backs. Now, I feel like right here I could do one of two puns: I could say something about how they aren’t held “back,” or I could say something about how they aren’t “tied down” by their shortcomings, but honestly I think either of those options would be pretty disappointing. But the joke is that since they don’t have spines they can tie themselves into knots. When a predator comes to…to eat some hagfish meat, I guess? Something must want to do that, somewhere. But anyway, they can secrete this horrible, foul, viscous mucus to get away, and then they clean the mucus off by tying themselves into knots and sort of swimming through their own knot hole that’s made of their body. Does that make sense? Go to YouTube, there’s probably a video.

*Am I using that right? I think I am, it feels right.