Animals I Hate

Mantis shrimp are super beautiful looking, with lots of crazy colors. But you can’t even say that to their face, just like how you can’t tell Stephen Hawking “Hey uh I looked at that math you did and I thought it was real nice,” because he’ll just think you’re a fucking idiot. Mantis shrimp can see in ways that I can’t even begin to understand. They can see in spectrums I’ve never even HEARD of. They can see at least four basic colors where humans can only see three, they can see polarized light, ultraviolet light, infra-red light; basically if it’s a kind of light, mantis shrimp can see it. And each eye has trinocular vision, like how you would see things if you had THREE eyes. Each one of their eyes is as good as having three eyes in your face. So while you’re seeing things from two angles right now (or maybe just one if you had an incident), a mantis shrimp is seeing the world from SIX angles. Have I explained this enough for you to understand how crazy it is? Also they have just the craziest attack claws you’ve ever heard of. Some people think that one of the reasons they have such crazy eyes so that they can see their crazy attack claws going as fast as a bullet. I’m so glad that these things are tiny (but not that tiny) and live at the bottom of the ocean. If they were like four feet long and hung out under porches, I would hang myself. I couldn’t live in that kind of world.