Animals I Hate

Slow lorises are really easy to catch, because if they get startled they go perfectly still and wait patiently to be attacked. But you’ll be sorry if you try to eat one, because these bitches are POISON. They have glands in their fucking elbows of all places that secrete some stuff that goes toxic when it’s mixed with their saliva. So the slow lorises lick their elbow glands (eww), then groom themselves and get the poison all up in their fur. And they can go on the offensive with that shit too, because if you get up in their business too much they might get a mouthful of elbow poison and bite you. But they aren’t aggressive. They just sort of rely on nobody wanting to eat a poison night monkey. Lorises in general annoy me because I always confuse “loris” with “lorax” and feel like an idiot, and even when I get it right I have this lingering sense that lorises are judging me for not being environmentally friendly enough.