Animals I Hate

Honey possums are real small, but they know that it ain’t about the size. It’s about the ratio. And honey possums have the biggest testicles to body size ratio in the animal kingdom. Plus they have the biggest sperms of any mammal. And god, I hate that. I hate that so much. If I can barely see you, I sure as hell don’t want to be able to see your jizz swimming around with my naked eye. Plus they’re nectovores, which is one of the dumbest diets. No wonder they’re so tiny. Hey honey possums, maybe if you waited for that flower to turn into a fruit before you went to town on it you’d weigh more than your balls.