Animals I Hate

The first time I saw a helmeted hornbill, I screamed. It wasn’t a fear scream, don’t get me wrong. It was a surprised scream. It just…it caught me off guard, is all. Their big heavy heads are like a hammer and chisel in one, and they use them to dig around in tree bark to find insects. I have a theory that they also use them to dig around in your dreams looking for your deepest fears, but it hasn’t been verified yet. Also their calls sound like maniacal laughter, which is seriously not okay out of an animal that looks like Freddy fucking Krueger.