Animals I Hate

Greater gliders are giant flying possums. Well, gliding possums anyway. Most gliders have membranes that extend from their ankles to their wrists, but greater gliders like to show off how fucking great they think they are by only having the membrane go from ankle to elbow. And as if that wasn’t enough they decided that they needed to have all the damn fur in Australia. I want to tie one to the end of a stick and use it to clean under my bed. They think they’re so fucking hot, gliding around with their goddamn wrists tucked under their chins like they’re posing for their class portraits. People would probably keep them as pets like sugar gliders, except that they have one of those annoyingly specialized diets, and I’m pretty sure that if you feed them after midnight they turn into gremlins.