Animals I Hate

Axolotls are Mexican salamanders. They’re all crazy looking with their fuzzy gills and flat tails, because axolotls never metamorphosize into adults. They hit sexual maturity while retaining their juevenile forms, which, incidentally, was exactly what I hated about middle school.

Purple frogs were discovered in India in 2003. It took biologists so long to find them because these fat fucks are underground 50 weeks a year, playing WoW in their parent’s basements. They come up during monsoon season to mate, so every time you see one of these disgusting lumps it’s trying to get laid. They’re also called donut frogs, presumably after their primary food source.

Glass frogs are tree frogs who don’t have the common decency to cover it up. I’m not saying you have to be a Mormon or anything, but the next time you come out of your bedroom I do not want to see ANY internal organs, young lady!